Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Between me and my friends, I’m prolly one of the few people who always look at life at its easiest, hassle-free. All I thought of doing is all about having fun. Squeezing all the good juice and throwing away the remaining husks. But something happened recently. Like lightning, though I never struck by one, it did gave me a good smack in the head.
It made me realize that I’ve been thinking and planning about having too much fun, I’ve even forgot to grow up. I planned a lot for myself. I’ve been neglecting my responsibility. It occurred to me that very moment that what I do and this life I’m responsible for is not about me entirely. There are other people sustaining me and people counting on me doing something about it.
All this while, all I ever thought of was getting myself paid, by any means necessary, so I can get my hands on the things I want so much. iPod, new camera, more RAMs, gadgets, new clothes and all. I don’t really care about living my life.
Been there, done that.

Sure, fine-dining was gainful and I can stretch a smile every time I see the paycheck. But, I got out of
the house just after the sun rise and back home after it set. Where is the life, actually?

I left.

I guess what I really want all this time is not exactly what I’ve been searching for. Clearly, everything that happened is not at all easy to decipher. Worse, the key was never provided. You have to make one.

I always do things by choice, not by desperation. It’s something I am always proud of with myself. Well, tell you the truth, going by choice all the time doesn’t turn out very well right now. I need to be desperate. I need to be one of them desperados and see how it would go. Coz what I can see in them is, they grow up. Who knows, it could be my big break.

Reactor: Online.

So let’s turn the table, shall we? Let’s do something out of the ordinary, get out of the comfort zone. I’m built for this.
Thanks, kodok. :-)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Plans foiled. Sorrow started overwhelming.

The gloomy day got darker when the dark cloud filled the sky. Cold wind blew, sweeping through the streets and I can feel the chill right in my bones. It rained eventually. I stayed at home, on the balcony, overlooking the pouring rain. The day was dark, as if it was reaching nightfall and the rain was heavy, and it proved no signs of slowing down, let alone ceasing its rush. I was still on the same spot, on the same balcony, overlooking the rain, reflecting on myself. It was noisy, yes. But the resonance helped concealing the gloomy thinking space. One thing occurred from the long thought, I never realize when the rain would stop. It just did, it stopped. I waited there until the clouds bestowed its last drop of water. I looked up, the sun started to shine from behind the cloud. The air is still cold, but this time, it was different. It brought with it a warm feel of welcome, greeting into the washed Earth. I felt invigorated, alive. And the nothing could beat the smell of the city after a cloudburst.


I was having mood-swing just moments ago, and now I feel like I could smile to anyone who looked in my way. I guess a little rain won’t hurt.

It heals.